I'm posting this blog from a bar. How fuckin' cool is technology?
I have come to the conclusion that my world is some sort of lucid dream (see
: VANILLA SKY). But instead of something I may have picked for myself to enjoy in my false reality as if to live a happy life, I am living one that someone I have fucked over in my past has spent a fortune on creating for me. But who? Who would be this cruel? Is it Kevin Mace who I stabbed with a knife when I was about 14 years old? Is it one of the nameless faceless people who's "one true love" was my "one true one night stand" in college years ago? Was it Bob Dylan, who in some cruel turn chose me as his target at making someone suffer the slings and arrows of one of the most bizarre realities ever conceived?
no. I don't think so. I think it was someone who I love. Someone who I would never expect. Someone, who the very mention of their name would cause the casual viewer to say, "No! That's impossible. There is no way that someone with so much love for you, let alone all of man kind, would put you in such a situation that is something your will could not handle. His love is too strong to be the cause of your life's problems."
I disagree. He hates me. I just wish I knew what I ever did to Fred Rogers to make him want to subject me to this tormenting land of make believe that he has trapped me in....
I Wouldn't Like Me If I Met Me
I'm gonna try this bloggy blog thing again. Realize (if you are reading) this that I will eventually fall off the planet again. I'm not good at following up on things. I mean.... look at this blog. Before this post here, my last update was over two years ago. Two YEARS! I suck at life...
I'm not gonna bore you with what I've done for the past two years. I can easily sum it up with the word nothing
To help me in keeping this new blog going, I'm gonna use it to comment on all things pop culture. Little bites here and there. Because honestly.... you couldn't give a shit about my life. How could you? Even I don't. So check back and enjoy in the goodies. The little treats that I can give you. MP3s.... videos... stuff like that.
So stick around. See if you like the new digs...
Non ho sonno
My sleep schedule is all messed up. I didn't get to bed yesterday until shortly after 12, and then slept until 9 or 9:30. Now... here it is, quarter of seven in the morning, and I can't sleep.
Today is the three week anniversary of me losing my job. In that time, I have done absolutely nothing. I spend most of my day in this bedroom behind this computer screen. Trying to find a job? No. I sit here looking at the same three websites waiting for anything to change. In between this, I download porn and I masturbate.
And you thought this blog wasn't going to be exciting.
When I do leave this room, it just seems that more things go wrong. Shows get cancelled... girls reject me at sight... I become an accomplice to a drug deal gone awry so as to not be killed for knowing too much.
I guess I just can't "Oh by the way..." that one, can I? Here's the story:
Last week (Monday to be exact), I was headed to West Chester to play an open mic night at 15 North. The guys from Candiflyp who normally run the open mic were out of town, so Randy and myself (the Impact Players) were asked to fill in.
For some reason, leaving my house was a hassle in itself. Everytime I got to the corner of my block, I realized another thing I had forgotten. By the time I had everything and made my way to the train station, I was late. So late that as I rounded the bend I saw my train pull up to the station and leave.
I had missed my train by about 43 seconds.
So, I sat and I waited for the next train. While I was waiting, I happened to notice across the street three cops searching a jeep parked in the parking lot of a bar. The owner of the vehicle stood watching as these officers went through his car, obviously in search of something illegal that they suspected he had.
As I was watching this, two guys came out of the BBQ joint at the train station and sat on either side of me on the bench where I was waiting. The one guy struck up a normal conversation with me. Noticing I had my guitar, he asked if I were in a band.. .what kind of music we played... blah blah blah. Anyone who has ever transported a musical instrument in public knows this conversation. It gets old quick, so you come up with a set of generic answers to give in response so that you seem like you enjoy the interrogation, all while rolling your eyes inside you mind.
A lull comes over our happy little conversation and I notice that the two guys have now moved their attention to the police search going on across the street. I take this time to gladly change the subject....
"Yeah, they've been searchin' that vehicle for a hot minute. I'm tryin' to figure out what's goin' on."
The two guys then have their food brought out to them, so instead of sandwiching me on the bench, they decide to sit next to each other, making me feel a little more comfortable. My attention is completely focused on the action across the street when I over hear one of the two guys make the comment that would change the shape of my wait for the train:
"Yo, I can't believe they let us go."
My two new friends were WITH the guy who's jeep was now being torn through by the cops.
"No biggie" I says to myself. I mean, the three highly trained police officers wouldn't let anyone go unless they were completely innocent of whatever wrong doing they were investigating... right?
So now my attention is split. Eyes on the cops, ears on the the two guys located next to me on the bench. As I watch the cops cuff the gentleman across the street, I get the DVD commentary track by the two gentleman who were in the jeep with him. Really, it was quite exciting.
Until the cops pulled a wad of cash out of the guy's pants while they were frisking him.
"Oh shit... they found the money yo." Oh shit indeed.
At this point, the one guy (who I will now start calling Scooter) starts getting really agitated. The other guy (here out referred to as Leader One) stayed pretty level headed.
Leader One: Yo, let's take a walk man.
Scooter: I dunno. I think we should just wait here for the train man.
Leader One (to me): When's this train comin' man?
Me: Should be here in five minutes. Unless the schedule is different because today is Labor Day.
Guess what? The schedule was different because it was Labor Day.
Leader One was now showing a little bit of the "ants in the pants" himself. So he went for a walk. He looped around to the back of the bar. This caused Scooter to have what had to have been a near or mild stroke. "Jesus Christ what the hell is he doin'!?" As Leader One came up on the corner of the bar, he bent over, calmly picked something up and began walking back to the station. He walked to where we were still sitting with a shit eating grin on his face.
Leader One: Got it.
Scooter: Holy shit man. You're crazy.
At this point the two of them walked to the trash can and got rid of whatever it was that was retrieved from across the street. It was then when I started to worry that I knew too much. I knew they were involved and I now knew where they disposed of the evidence. Viewing one too many movies now caused paranoia to seep in.
"They're going to kill me," I thought. They are going to kill me because I know too much.
Panicking, I begin practicing in my head what I would say if they begin to worry about how much I know. "You're secret's safe with me." Nah, that wouldn't work. "I promise I won't tell anyone." Shit, I'd shoot me if I said that. "Yo, I ain't no snitch."
As I'm reciting my "I ain't no snitch" mantra in my head, the two guys come back over to the bench and sit down again. But from where they are sitting, they can't see what the cops are doing.
Leader One: Can you see where that cop went?
Scooter: No can you?
Leader One: Shit man, no.
Me: I'll be your eyes. What do you wanna know?
"I'll be your eyes." What a fuckin' asshole.
Asshole or not, Leader One thought this was a great idea, and I began giving a play by play of what was going on. "They're emptying the trunk." "They're going through the backseat again." Shit like that.
Leader One then takes this opportunity to make a phone call. Scooter is still very fidgety. I continue surveying the search.
Leader One (on the phone): Yo. Yeah, we're still here. We're waiting for the train. Should be here shortly. How do I know? This guy here told me. What? No, he's cool.
Shit. I'm cool. But that doesn't mean anything. This guy on the phone might be delivering the orders to rub me out. But wait... I can play dumb. I don't really know where they hid their shit.
Leader One: No, it's not in the jeep. Cause I went and got it. We put it in the trash can here.
Thanks. Now I do know.
The cops, finished their search, then began talking amongst each other. Occasionally looking over in our direction. Leader One informed the man on the phone that the cops knew they were there, and that they knew that the two of them knew they knew. The head cop headed back to his car where the driver was still cuffed in the back seat. He got in and drove off.
The other two cops kept looking over at my two buddies. Scooter, now a nervous wreck, walked over and took a seat on a different bench. Leader One finished up his phone conversation and walked over to join his friend. Then... the two remaining cops began approaching the station. The two guys were out of my site, but my guess is, they tried walking away, because the one cop yelled "Hey, stop right there!" The head cop came whipping up in his car from behind and the other two cops joined him.
It was that second I heard the train arriving. I boarded and looked out the window as I saw Scooter and Leader One being cuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car.
End of story. Or so I thought.
Later on that night, I'm telling this story to a friend of mine who got wide eyed when I mentioned that these guys sat on either side of me when they first sat down. I asked him what was up, but he told me to finish my story. When I was done telling him, he told a story about how two nights before, at a few stops up on the same train I rode, some guy was sitting on a bench waiting for his train. Two guys approached and sat on either side. They jumped the guy and a third man took his wallet and ran to an ATM with the guy's mac card.
While the third guy tried withdrawling whatever he could from this man's account, the other two walked him down the train tracks at gunpoint. Luckily for this guy, a train came and the two attackers fled, leaving him on the side of the tracks.
At this point, I thought about the very last thing I had to return to my house for. The one thing that I was 43 seconds late for, causing me to miss my train. It was a capo for my guitar. Had I been mugged, beaten, arrested or killed in that situation with Scooter and Leader One... it would have been because of a $14 guitar accessory.
Little things in life can change everything. Believe that.